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  Travelling without a husband or a lover! |
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Mary Ann Lindley
calls Tallahassee, USA, home. She is a lifestyle columnist at the
Tallahassee Florida Democrat who has travelled the world both as a
single and coupled.
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A Freshly Broken Heart My first trip alone
was when I was 29 and had a freshly broken heart. I set out boldly
and more than a little blindly on the advice of someone who knew:
"Getting away, as far as you can, will put your life into perspective",
he promised. "You can take that to the bank." I went to the post office and got a passport. I called an airline, paid the rent, stopped the mail and headed to the great capitals of Europe without a plan, a reservation or a map in any language I could read. I knew of just two people I might visit - providing that I could locate them. |
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Sobbing into My Soup Still not believing that my past was over, I sent souvenirs to the cad who had dumped me - and who I later understood had done more to help me find my wings than anyone I'd ever met. Cad received a wool beret from Paris, a plaid tie from Edinburgh, chocolates from Brussels. I received not even a thank-you note, though I probably should have sent him one. |
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We Take Separate Vacations Yet voluntarily placing yourself alone in the world for awhile can be just the tonic - particularly for those of us who have been leveled by the usual humbling experiences and are finding ourselves with gingerly timid emotions that cause us to avoid books, movies or experiences that might be too jolting, depressing or risky. I believe that travelling by ourselves is for the psyche what exercise and diet are for the body: a ticket to aging without fear. This may be especially true for the mom who is ready to get out from under her super-mom-superwife-superwoman cape, which is now merely hiding a more authentic self. |
Travelling and freedom
are perfect partners and offer an opportunity to grow in new dimensions.
A person needs at
intervals to separate herself from family and companions and go to
new places. She must go without her familiars in order to be open
to new influences, to change. Travel shared can be wonderful -- but it can sometimes pose its own problems. Neither friends nor lovers are always in harmony in their enthusiasm or energy levels. Eleanor Berman, Traveling Solo, 1999 A solo traveler can
be flexible-- an unexpected festival, an extra seat on an excursion
boat offered at half price, a town so inviting you decide to hop off
the train and explore it. Being solo you'll enjoy being able to change
your plans without discussion. My husband of nearly
forty years had just died, and instead of being half of a couple,
I was suddenly single. I remember wanting to be alone to walk on a
quiet beach with the sea washing on the sand and to reminisce and
think about what lay ahead for me. |
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Journeywoman ™ Copyright © 1997 - 2006
For
the next month I was either sobbing into my soup or so exhilarated by
all that I was seeing, learning, tasting and feeling that I could scarcely
breathe. My emotions ran to extremes: sorrow over my injured heart, and
the lightest feeling in the world as it mended. I wouldn't trade either.
My
husband and I often take separate vacations and every time I get the chance
to urge a woman friend to travel by herself, I do so. Few women will,
considering it second-best to travelling with husband, lover, family or
friend - people who will often discourage solitary flight. 