Featured image: It may feel impossible, but these steps can help you get started in widow travel | Photo by Wavebreakmedia on Envato

Travel for the single or widowed solo female traveller

by Diana Eden

I only just learned there was such a thing as United Nations Widows Day. Well, there should be! Plenty of holidays celebrate mothers, grandmothers, parents, lovers, and children. What about widows, the ones left behind? After the death of a loved one, one initially feels like way less than “half of two.” But as widows, we are far more than half a couple. We are the survivors and brave enough to start a new life.

One of the things a new widow often says as she comes out of a period of grieving is, “Who will I travel with now?” And that is a daunting and frightening question for many. Good opportunities are available, whether you choose to travel on your own or in a group of like-minded women.

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How can we be more attuned to ‘the surviving partners’ when we travel?

Be aware when one person seems to be on their own

When I was in Africa two years ago, the one moment I felt very alone and sad was when we arrived at our first camp, which looked out over a vast plain with wild zebras, elephants, and giraffes wandering around in their element. People lined up for photos, in pairs, in groups, and in families, with this magnificent background. Finally, I asked if someone would take a photo of me. By myself. I so wanted to be in someone’s group.

Be aware when one person seems to be separate from the group and invite them into whatever moment you are sharing. Meals can be painful if someone is not used to dining solo, so consider inviting that person to join you, whether it is a picnic on the deck of a catamaran or an evening meal on a cruise.

Seating is also important. Singles often hate going out with married couples as they feel like “the Odd One Out”.  I suggest not sitting by the usual boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl rule with the Odd-One-Out at the end. Put the O-O-O in the middle!

Dining alone. Sometimes nice, sometimes lonely.

When you see someone eating alone, there is no need to say, “I see you are alone.” Why not try another approach like “We saw you earlier today buying a lovely scarf in the market. Do come and tell us what other goodies you found.” Or at another meal: “We’ve saved you a seat with us – I hope you’ll come join.” 

If the solo traveller you meet mentions her late husband or wife, don’t hush up in discomfort. Ask more about him/her (men, though technically called widowers) who are in the same position. Ask about their past travels, as well as future plans. But make them aware that they are every bit as interesting as themselves and not half of a couple.

Three ways to get started in travel as a widow

1. Find a women-only tour

A “women only” tour is a safe place to start, where you can have the adventure of travel along with the company of women, many of whom may be in the same age bracket as you and have the same interests.

All the companies listed are women-owned and have been thoroughly vetted by JourneyWoman. I recommend looking for a tour with no more than 12-16 participants so you will feel safe and can get to know everyone well.

If you enter “women only, small group” in the search bar, you will be rewarded with many choices. My interests include trips such as the Tanzania Women Only Safari, Scenic Scotland, Country Roads of Portugal, Best of Morocco, New England’s Fall Foliage, and many more. Each lists the maximum number of travellers, plus all the itinerary details and prices. 

Here are some examples from three of Journeywoman’s partners that appeal to me:

Katherine Butler-Dines is the CEO of a company called Women Travel Abroad. She says, “Women’s travel is our entire business. We were founded out of the desire to create connections for military spouses and single women. Many women are eager to travel but don’t have a buddy to go with. Our clients are widowed, divorced, their partner is deployed, or their friends/families just don’t want to go to the same destinations as them. They’re tired of waiting around for others and are ready to go see the world.”

Dr. Angela Clark, a former ER physician, is the Founder of Women-Go-Travel. She says of her trips, “The feeling of camaraderie forms quickly and naturally when we travel in a small group. We cheer each other on, support each other, laugh together (lots) and form friendships that last well beyond the duration of the trip. Travelling in a group of women can provide a sense of security.”

Another JourneyWoman partner, Mandy Salonika, from The Adventurous Ewe, says:  “I decided to create SMALL tour groups for women only, where we can see the world, while being cosseted and treated in a safe environment. I love the fact that I can enjoy the camaraderie, have fun and make new friends which last after the tour.”

2. Consider a retreat or wellness spa

Retreats can also be a way for widows to deal with grief and a jumble of emotions.

Sharon McLean, who leads Solo Kiwi Ventures, says: “I know that after spending years taking care of others and being responsible for everything, it can be hard to take a break for yourself. That’s why I created Solo Kiwi Ventures – small group tours & retreats for women over 40, to help you find inner peace, balance, and confidence through travel while also discovering more of who you really are.”

One additional benefit of this company is that Sharon makes solo travel easy with NO SINGLE SUPPLEMENT! 

Find more retreats for women here.

3. Try sharing a villa from a vacation rental company:

This is a surprisingly affordable option if you have a ready-made group of friends who can travel with you. If you are happy going to just one place, three and four-bedroom villas are available in many “holiday destinations,” and with all the costs divided between the group, all that remains is airfare and food once you get there. A week in the Caribbean, for example, in a lovely house, can come in under $3000 per person, all included. (Author’s note: I know because I’ve done it many times, travelling with three or four friends). Find a holiday rental here!

As a widow, you are far more than half a couple

So, widows, it’s time to get out and explore the world on your own terms. Whether it’s on a catamaran sailing around the BVI, relaxing at a retreat in Bali, enjoying a villa overlooking the blue waters of the Caribbean, or in a jeep looking at African wildlife, the world awaits you.

More on Getting Started in Widow Travel